As I sit alone with my biscotti and six dollar coffee I notice that I am being scrutinized. I suppose maybe it’s just human nature, and I mean you have got to admit when you see someone alone you wonder, “why”? You question; do they have friends, what about family, or maybe they’re just a plain loser; now is that fair? It doesn’t really matter, that’s just the way the world works. But, then there is the flipside; how do you feel when you’re no longer the one doing the scrutinizing? Whether we like it or not we act differently around others than we do when it’s just ourselves.
For example, there is a quite blonde girl that sits in the corner every morning presumably myspacing away on her little pink laptop and she never really looks up from it; and if you do happen to catch her gaze her cheeks flush and then she quickly looks away. So therefore you would classify her as shy right? Wrong. One day I wasn’t able to make it in, in the morning so I decided to stop by the coffee shop in the afternoon, and do you know what I observed; a complete change in personality? The previously assumed shy blonde, being as obnoxious as ever, and for one reason and one reason only, she had two friends with her.
I know it sounds corny to use the statement “strength in numbers” but some people just open up better when they are in the company of others whom they feel comfortable with. Another light bulb that was switched on in my time there is that you’re more approachable when you’re alone. Maybe it’s because people don’t feel as challenged or nervous to approach someone flying solo, but I have discovered that unknown group settings tend to scare them off.
Some days I brought friends with me, you know grab some coffee and maybe some breakfast before we had to join the rest of the world. Well at first I didn’t notice but the barista smiled at me every time I came in with my group of friends, but it was only the next time when I arrived alone that she initiated a conversation. I have two theories as to why she may have acted in this manner. My first theory is maybe she was just trying to work up the courage, but my second and more probable theory is that it was because I was alone. It’s less scary to approach a single person than an individual in a group.
In conclusion I think people are insecure by nature. We find situations less difficult when we don’t have to go it alone. Admit it more times than not your more outgoing when you have someone your familiar with by your side; I know I am. We thrive on each other; the sad thing is I don’t think many of us would make it at all if we were forced to go it alone. Independence isn’t natural it’s learned, and I think it would be a good quality for the majority of the population to take on.
July 4, 2009 at 1:11 am |
I totally agree with you. People do tend to be more outgoing or daring when they have companions. I guess it is just knowing that someone has your back that allows a person to step out of thier comfort zone.
July 5, 2009 at 4:49 am |
I disagree with you. Maybe I am different. I tend to be more outgoing and out spoken when I am by myself. I do believe people are human and think and some people say bad things about others all the time. So what? They should grow up and get a life.
July 5, 2009 at 4:54 am |
I disagree with you. Maybe I am different. I tend to be more outgoing and out spoken when I am by myself. I do believe people are human and think some people say bad things about others all the time. So what? They should grow up and get a life.
July 5, 2009 at 5:11 am |
I disagree with you. Maybe I am different. I tend to be more outgoing and out spoken when I am by myself. I do believe people are human and think some people say bad things about others all the time. So what? They should grow up and get a life.
July 6, 2009 at 2:42 am |
I enjoyed your blog, especially conclusion. Indeed, we can live through supports of some things: family, friends, communities, or whole society. I believe the degree of ease when we approach to others depends on the situation. For example, in a safe place such as a coffee shop, your theory may right, “less scary to approach a single person than an individual in a group.” However, I think I would feel scarier to approach a single person if I am hiking in wilderness. How about at night when we are alone? Seeing a group of people in those kinds of situations gives me more security. Also, it depends on differences of genders, age group, and definitely vibrations from the appearances of the people. I have experienced to see a huge gap between a same person’s behaviors in different situations. My husband, very strong looking man, has hidden weakness: acrophobia. My cousin, very handsome and an athlete, is phobic to all kind of insects. My best girl friend, really girly-looking pretty lady, loved anatomy in the biology class in high school and surprised everyone. I think not everyone is outgoing when we are with others. My niece is an example. She is very bubbly to me but shy in school and very few but strong bonded friends.
We cannot judge a person by one’s appearance and that is the tastefulness of human. Yes, people are very insecure by nature.
July 6, 2009 at 8:17 pm |
I liked your description of your morning ritual. I especially liked the part about the “six dollar coffee”. I so agree with your observations of the blonde sitting in the corner alone and then she becomes a wild child when with friends. I’ve seen people do the same thing, especially guys. When guys are alone they can be calm, cool and collected, but when they get with their buddies they become raving maniacs sometimes.
I know what you’re saying about being spoken to if you’re alone. My grandmother and I go every week and get some fried chicken at Popeye’s. If I miss a week the lady behind the counter will ask my grandmother where I am. If I go and my grandmother doesn’t, the lady will ask me about my grandmother. When the two of us are together the lady just waits on us and thanks us.
July 6, 2009 at 8:37 pm |
I think that is so true. I think it is just human nature to be that way. That is one reason why who you hang out with is such a big part of how you act. Teenagers usually don’t try to start fights or play pranks by themselves, but if they know that their companions will validate it, then they are more encouraged to do so.